Wow, didn’t I just blog about your 18m half birthday. Like yesterday?
I am sure that the someone who came up with the quote, “time flies when you are having fun” was a mum with her growing child.
Mumma blinked again, and we leaped from 18m to 24m. Just like that!
I still remember the months leading up to your first birthday. There was a heartache associated with every moment. Even when I was DIY-ing your nautical birthday items, there were several teary eyed moments. It was quite emotional. And I remember how tears constantly streamed down my face while I typed your first birthday letter.
That love was fierce in a different way. It was deeply instinctual. You were my baby and I needed you more than you needed me. We stuck like a Mumma-Baby Koala pair. And even today, I miss that baby. To be precise, my baby.
Most definitely the second birthday feels different from the first year. Because this year, you figured out this thing called “independence”. And each day of this year, you steadily demand that I let go of pieces of you, even when I try to subtly hang on. And today, I want to celebrate the person you are. And I want to see the person you are today, evolve to be the person you will become tomorrow.
Compared to last year, you are your own person. You go by your rules, trying to dodge mine every chance you get. You want to brush alone, you want to feed alone, you want to climb stairs alone, you want to walk alone and not hold hands. You are constantly exploring and fearless. And before when Mumma said “Ok bye Vaavu.. see ya!“, you would run behind me. But today if I said the same, you wave back and go your way. Now I run behind you.
I see a specific personality. And everyday I see more and more of that person you are growing up to be. And there are moments where I marvel at how wonderful you are. Like the Bible describes, fearfully and wonderfully made. Sometimes your level of understanding and problem-solving intrigue me. You really are a lot of fun to hang around with. And I would feel the same even if you were not my son, cos yes bud, you are just too cool!
Needless to say, your endless energy does tire us out so constantly. And there are many days when I have wished that you would calm down and simply play with a toy or color, and not be so wacky. But on a sad or gloomy day, your giggles, hugs and kisses refuel me instantly. You work like magic!
And from the first time you did it till this very moment, “that pout” crumbles my heart like no other. I could give up anything to ensure your happiness. Son, you need to know that there is no greater pride, or joy I have but you. Everything I do in life, I do for you. Please remember that the next time you have a meltdown, throw a toy at my head, or whack me out of frustration.
I love that we still share the togetherness factor. We wake up together. Say prayers together. Brush together. Have meals together. Play together. Go to office together. Sleep together. Cuddle together. Clean together. Cook together. Everything is always together, for the most part. And I have grown so used to it. To the extent that going to the loo without an audience feels like something about that bio-break is incomplete.
And guess what! I am mighty glad we are stuck together (though there are days and moments when I might say otherwise for a few hours). But I would do this all over, without a second thought. For you! Only YOU!
You don’t know it, but you truly inspire me to do better in life, be a better person, and make me believe that this world is a lovely place. Yes, you are the most colorful part of my world, and my favorite piece of the puzzle. And I would choose you over and over to do life with. Today, tomorrow, day after.. until forever and after.
What I love the most about you this year?
The meaningful baby speech, that I was so badly waiting for. The expressions, gestures and means of communication. Though you said Mummaaa last year, you did not make the connection. But this year you do! You know who your Mumma and Appa are! The cute toddler-way you say words, rhymes, alphabets, colors, shapes, numbers and broken sentences. And off-course the super-adorable way you say your name, ‘Ayydee‘.
Mumma still is so eager for you to say more and more, but this was one of my biggest “waiting moments” for you, to refer to us Mumma and Appa, to communicate, to let us know what you feel, to express yourself. And yes it was my most favorite parts of this year!
There’s more– Your deliberate hugs and kisses. The tight squeeze I get around my neck through the night as and when you wake up. Your contagious giggle. Your crazy obsession with Twinkle Twinkle little star and how you show me the action 100,00,000 times a day and want us to sing it to you, and read you the book. The way you need the Twinkle Twinkle little star book when you fall asleep at night. The way you show actions for rhymes with your cute toddler-hands. The way you say your ABC’s, skipping alphabets that are simply not your favorites. Your Olympics winning speed to do anything involved with running, jumping or climbing. The way you clean up.
** Boy oh boy, am I crazy about you or what!
Our wish for you is the same as we wished since the day we knew and met you. To be happy, God-fearing, blessed, loved, humble, passionate, soft-hearted, successful and healthy. I pray God grants your heart’s every desire, tiniest to the biggest.
As you journey into the next year—the year very fondly known as “TERRIBLE two’s“. Though I think we have seen a lot of that already and though we know how exhausting and frustrating it can be all at once, I am hopeful we will have a pleasant year with just enough insanity thrown in for good measure (Gulp!)! So, here’s cheers (in advance) to a year filled with abundant “terrific” than “terrible” moments. *Cheers!– Munchkin 360 cup & Mumma cup clink-clink* A Mumma is allowed to dream, ok!
Whatever be the case, I will remember through the next year that being Mumma means growing up all over again with you. So I will continue to laugh when you laugh, jump when you jump, run when you run, sit down beside you for every meltdown, read a book 5 times in repeat mode, and tell you its-ok when really, it’s not. I will chase away every nightmare, protect you like a wild mama bear, and be there for you, always. And try to be as pleasant as I possibly can be when you refuse to fall asleep both during nap-time and bed-time and keep me beside you for 2-3 hours (argh, this one is the hardest for me).
Vaavu, no matter what, and no matter how old you are, know one thing. This heart of mine is right there with you, growing alongside you, and my love will keep rapidly increasing every minute to cover every inch of you. I will always love you, and have your back, no matter what. That’s my promise to you. And one day, when you grow up to be a big man, I hope you will love and trust me not just as your Mumma, but also as your friend.
This year is special. Because even amidst all your big-boy face and shenanigans, that baby boy of yesterday crops up. So many times a day. Those curled baby fists when you sleep, the looking out for Mumma when you wake up, the baby squeal I still sometimes hear in your laughs, the few expressions you make that still take me back to your boo-boo days, the pointing and babbling. You still say wa-wa sometimes for water, and then quickly correct yourself. These are precious, because you, though a little boy now, are still a baby too. And maybe next year I will not find most of these, and they will be only be memories of your Baby Boo days and moments.
So much has changed from day 1 to now. But one thing remains the very same, since the minute I saw you. That explosion of emotions! That remains the very same even today. And though your heart is now not beating within me, my heart will continue to beat for the two of us. Always! Looking forward to growing young with you, little man.
You have brought your Appa and me so much joy and cheer. And you brought along with you so much love, laughter and emotions, that from the first moment we laid eyes on you, we knew you completed the family puzzle. You filled in so many gaps, and your presence in the house is the best thing we ever created. We love you so much, and we forever will until our last breath.
But for now, we wish you a very HAPPY birthday, our Dapper boy and precious son (I hold my head high up when I say these two words). Continue being the sweet, passionate, curious, smart, pretty boy you are. Yes ‘pretty’ cos 9/10 times the compliments for you have references: “she is so pretty“, “your daughter is so cute” or “beautiful young lady“. Let’s just blame it on Appa for wanting to grow your hair for a whole year (haha!)
Looking back, all I can say is, these have been the best two years of my life. Thank you for coming into my life & sharing so much with me ! I love you more than words can ever say ❤