Happy THREE Years, My Sweet Child!

Sweet child of mine,

10/25/2014. That was three full years ago.

When I look back at that day you were born, and see where we are today, I know we have traveled far. And traveled well in this journey.

Every year when it comes to thinking and typing a milestone post, its bittersweet. I’m happy to see you grow, but so sad that the baby I once held in my hand is becoming more and more independent. I thought my responsibilities would reduce as you grew up and that would make me feel less stressed out.

But weirdly enough, I find myself constantly missing moments of our first year, when we did everything for you. There are so many moments where we fight today because you want to do things by yourself and in your way.  It takes me sometime to realize that you are growing up and asking for your independence.

Ay baby, you have taught me so much. A lot more than I could have ever learned being alone. Humility, humbleness, PATIENCE, unconditional love, slowing down are all things that make sense after you came into my life. Like the saying goes, “I may have given you life, but you gave me mine.” I couldn’t have said it any better. You truly added this ocean of love and meaning in our lives in your own special way.

This year of life– Quite an adventure ride! There’s no way I can sugarcoat this bubba, but you were an ABSOLUTE fireball! You depleted more energy than my body could even produce. This entire year, I feel I was running on ‘reserve’!  You are a little boy with a strong personality and on-wheels constantly. And that combination, is lethal 😀

It was exhausting to keep you busy, safe and happy– all at once!  You are your own person Sir Ayden Koshy.  I can explain to you, beg you, plead with you, threaten you– but you my dear son, won’t budge, if you’ve made up that little mind of yours! Lordy Lord you have pushed every limit, every balance, and crossed every line. Gasp!

Truth be told son, even when things are crazy and mad and sad and bad for me, there’s that innocence I see on your face. You have a special way of putting a smile on my face. You have a magic about yourself, and you can light up any darkness. You’re my motivation for everything. And there’s no way I can explain that to you in words.

Your talking is still my absolute favorite. The things that come out of your mouth are downright hilarious. And I love how you put your thoughts into words. And how your reason. You have so many thoughts, imaginations and ideas in your mind and I’m always waiting to hear the creative construction of sentences you come up with.

Most signs and looks of my baby-boy have faded.  You smell different.  Your baby cheeks and thighs are completely gone.  There are no folds of a pudgy toddler. You are now my sweet, little boy. I’m grateful every day of my life, for the role I play in your life. I am always grateful to God for placing you in my arms.

One thing I want you to hold onto in life from this year is how adamant you are to achieve what you have put your mind to. No matter what anyone says, if you have something in your mind, you ensure you try and try again no matter how much you fail. I hope as you grow up, that trait remains, cos no matter what the world says to you, I want you to achieve everything you put your mind to. As you grow older, you will realize that the world is not a kind place, and that there will be times people deliberately put you down or point a finger at you when you are not wrong. That’s only normal. But no matter what anyone says, you can be sure that you have me by your side (even if I say I’m not).

You have always loved your family more than anything. You are the happiest when we’re together, even if that means just hanging out at home, doing nothing. And I hope we will always remain this close. Appa and Mumma may not be your best friends in life, but we hope you’ll always see us as your buddies. And always be open and friendly with us.

This year we started school. And that has not been the best experience. But slowly yet steadily you learned to adjust. Thats one thing thats always been your strength- to adjust to changes and not have that adversely affect you. Kutta, you have no idea, but I am so mighty proud of you every single day for being such a resilient soul ❤

This year, you went from Mumma, Mumma, Mumma to Appa, Appa, Appa. He is your #1 person and your superstar! Mum ego is hurt for sure! But ah well, that’s ok. He is someone you try very hard to impress a lot off late. And you run inside the house so excitedly, smiling wide and your eyes so anxious to see him every single day when Mumma brings you back home from school.  The only time you run to Mumma now is when Appa disciplines you or does not let you have your way or if you are sad or hurt. 

Your current favorites:

  • Food – Pizza, Pasta, MacnCheese (what a huge change haha)
  • Fruit – Watermelon.
  • Drink- Apple Juice.
  • Animal – Cat.
  • Toy – Trains.
  • Your favorite lines – “CAN WE SEE THE TRAIN??”
  • Book – Goodnight Train.
  • Rhymes – Baby Shark.
  • Screen time – Chu Chu TV (Sigh!).
  • Activity – Anything to do with ABC’s.
  • Hate- Going to bed.

Booboo-nu, we love you more than life itself. You have changed me, moulded me, broken me, built me up.. In short, you complete my life. And I absolutely adore the gazillion little nothing’s between us.

Being your Mumma is my biggest identity and pride. I savor every little thing about you (yes, a little less tantrum, attitude and action would be much appreciated!).

God bless you little one, and may the Almighty choose to shine His light upon you, always. May He hold you, guide you, lead you and protect you every minute of your life. May He achieve all the great plans He has for you. I hope you live a life that is in accordance with His will, and according to the calling and specific purpose He has for you. Even when life gives you a thousand reasons to run away from Him, never let go of your faith. If there’s anyone who can love you more than us, its Him!

Happy 3rd Birthday to my favorite boy.

Aydoos, you are the best little guy I know. I don’t nearly enough tell you how incredible you are, and how blessed we are.

Love always,


Baking With My Toddler

I grew up seeing my mother and father together baking cakes. I always thought it was a fun process. I was mostly excluded from this process to reduce the mess. Mum was and is a perfectionist so there’s no chance of any mess while around her 😀 And so, I always stood around watching them, and also mostly using my index finger to lick batter as they prepared it. Until my poor mother would finally have to finally say, “that’s enough now.

I, like mum prefer things properly done and mess-free. But not to her extent. I can do with some mess but not the toddler level messiness. And so, to be completely honest, when I started baking with Ay (we started when he was 18m), it was a daunting experience. We would start off all happy. But soon enough, you’d see me deciding to stop half-way, or reducing ingredients, or me trying to distract him so I could get him out of the kitchen, or me screaming “no! no! stop!!” as he broke eggs on the floor, toppled the flour over, covered himself in butter yada yada yada. Yes, all that happens. And its all for real. It’s a truest test of patience.

That’s when I decided that it was me who needed to be ok with mess if I expected to bake with my toddler. And hence, we’ve probably baked just about 4 times so far. Cos junior is too inquisitive and really want his hands and face in everything.

Yesterday he wore mittens and asked me if we could bake bagels. I was ok with baking ‘something’. Just not bagels. Having done it once with him, I was not ready for that long process. And with my tolerance for mess, and his level of precision, it was just not a good idea for a beautiful afternoon.

I looked at his excited face and said,  “How about we make some pumpkin mini muffins?” He was happy with the idea. For some reason even I thought it would be fun.  Well not really because I trusted my patience or his precision, but because I just felt we needed this. After all, Mondays were our special date-days!

Tip 1: Always ensure you will be ok with this experience. Run scenarios and possible disasters in your mind, and think your approach through. If it involves you getting heavily frustrated consistently, maybe it’s not time just as yet.

Ay has always been actively involved in the kitchen. Even when he was smaller he would be with me in the baby carrier or sitting in highchair while his dad or I cooked/ cleaned etc. His favorite tasks include helping with the dishwasher, helping stir different dishes, helping make coffee/ tea, helping with cleaning the messes he made, toasting bread or waffles etc.

When we decided to bake today, I started to look for a simple and quick recipe. And soon enough, I found a pretty straightforward pumpkin muffin recipe on the internet.

I then measured all the ingredients and set it out on the countertop.

Tip 2: Never ask or wait for your toddler to join for this step. Have all the ingredients measured out before you invite them into the process.

I then placed his step stool beside me. And another chair around it so he got more height and the step stool would prevent any slipping.

Tip 3: Always adjust them at a standing level at a decent height. Do not carry them or place them in a sitting position on the counter table.

I then invited Mr. Cute face to step into the kitchen. He came along with Thomas the train saying he wanted to bake too. Oh more the merrier I thought, especially since Thomas didn’t have an additional pair of hands and legs 😀

Ayden started by mixing the dry ingredients.

Tip 4: Teach them the round and round motion.

He then broke the egg to add into the wet mixture (his favorite part!)


And then he mixed the wet ingredients.

Haha! he poked his hand into the butter when I added that in (dang! could not get a picture!)

He constantly stirred while reciting “round and round AAAAND round and round.. now faster!!

After that I folded in the dry ingredients with the wet ingredients.

Then I had him place him place the liners. He counted 1-8 and we did this multiple times. Cos for some reason it was fun! It was fun to see him enjoying it.

Tip 5: Certain steps in the baking process need to be repeated to make the overall experience a fun one. If it’s one that involves less mess, then by all means allow them have some fun!


And then we poured in (read: dumped in) the batter (Stunning levels of precision, eh! 😅)


350 degrees and 20 minutes later, we had this.


Now, the million dollar question–

“Was it worth it?”

I’d say yes!

There’s mess. But there are memories too. And that’s worth it. And that sense of achievement on my almost 3-year old’s face– definitely worth it.

We’ll definitely be doing more of this. So if anyone has tips for me, please comment. If anyone is thinking of starting this journey, I hope my post is helpful and encouraging for you.

Hope you all enjoy baking together and sharing it as a family. Happy weekend!

Fall season: Through my eyes.

Do you feel it?

The cool wind.
The colorful trees and leaves around us.
Pumpkins everywhere.
Fall festivals.
The positive vibes.
Happy smiles.

Yes! Yes!! Yes!!! It’s October.

Fall is here!

And this blog of mine is dedicated to this beautiful season.

See Fall through my eyes.

Here are some of my favorite things 🙂

Changing home decor to Fall colors and printsimg_0252

Pretty fallen and colorful leaves all aroundkazuend-32607

Pumpkin spice Lattebrigitte-tohm-184599.jpg

Hot cocoa & a bookalisa-anton-166247

Collecting colorful Fall leaves artur-rutkowski-42681

Rolled haycalvin-aman-317232

Pumpkins and more pumpkins corey-blaz-140474

Comfortable shoesdaria-nepriakhina-1274.jpg

Colorful trees all aroundcourtney-read-152850

Thin sweatersannie-spratt-130809.jpg

Baked goodiesdmytro-ostapenko-333038

Dried leaves on the deck (..hate cleaning it though!)emma-frances-logan-146511


It’s not too cold as yet.. so, ice cream and sprinkles (when toddler demands..)patrick-fore-380241

Thanksgiving timegabriel-garcia-marengo-68299

Crisp apple and fruit pickingtim-mossholder-2138

Farm visits: Hayrides, Cider donuts, Pumpkin patchpatrick-fore-402577

Crafts (Imagination Tree)

Shenandoah picturesque driveaaron-burden-160110

Lots and lots of cute photos 

It’s a month with so many of my favorite people’s birthday. Including my favorite boy, who turns 3 soon ❤img_0974

Pictures speak louder than words, right?

Happy Fall, from our house to yours

Ay’s First Fall Farm-Toddling Experience

I love summer. And I am the happiest during summer time. Yep, being a perfect Dubai girl, I will any day take the sun over snow.

img_0252But Fall has to be my most favorite season too. Probably more than summer too? Hmm, I’ll need to figure that out.

All the leaves changing color, the cool breeze, the lovely sight of pumpkins, pumpkin spice candles, the farms.. all of that makes me so happy.

I am not someone who changes home decor with every season (unless its Christmas time). But Fall is one other time in the year when I love to do up the house with the warm Fall colors, accessories and pumpkin candles. Somehow I feel it adds a special warmth and joy in the house.

Obviously, what’s my favorite needs to be passed down. And so, my firstborn gets to experience all this with me. He’s with me while we shop around various stores. The lad sits on the cart (whining on and off) while I explain my different decor ideas to him. I don’t know how much he understands. But he’s happy to answer the same question, “Does this look nice Aidoos?” If I forget to ask him, and put something in the cart, he’ll immediately stop and ask me, “Is that nice, Mumma?” #AwMyElf

And candles– he’ll respond with “yummy” or “yucky” based on his preference for the fragrance. If he says it’s yummy, there’s a huge chance that his index finger with poke into the candle for some tasting 🤣


Since we do not live on the farm, or have relatives to visit at a farm, the month of October so totally means Farm visits! AND…. the more the merrier!!

Last year I took Ay to a pumpkin patch with our cousins. I thought he’d have a blast but he did not really appreciate the experience. I knew it’s probably something with his age and personality and so, I did not take him to any more farms last year.

This year our first farm visit was to Cox Farms. I highly recommend this place, and I’ll definitely be taking Ay a second time, once it gets cooler. I got to know about this farm through a mum friend. Three cheers to mum groups, life would be so hard without them!

I was talking to Ay about our visit to a pumpkin farm the week before. I’ve realized he’s better when he knows what to expect. 

Upon arrival at the farm, he was excited to see the place, posed like a king for pics, and waited patiently while I purchased tickets at the farm. Yes, there were times when both he and I had meltdowns. But that’s not entirely our fault. It was freaking 87 degrees!! And we were literally melting. But what was so soothing to see was, despite the sun shining down bright and hot, all the little families wore their happy faces. Ans the sound of children at play was ringing through the air.

We walked around a little and checked maps to see what all we could do, we stopped and played at the kiddie area with our other other friends. The kids played on the toys, trains, bubbles, water sprays, slides, climbed up hay stacks, and played in the hay maze. Ay had so fun cos there were so many random things he could do and keep running and climbing around.  We had a lot of fun on the Jack and the beanstalk, sliding down together with a shared sack. Wee!!

He enjoyed seeing the different farm animals, and would greet each one of them with so much excitement. Some of his lines were, “Hello Piggie, how are you doing today?“, “Hello Moo-moo cow, are you feeling hot?” “Hi Hen, why are you running on the egg?” I found this so cute, and would always listen to see what line followed after the initial hello greeting! He also remembered the Old McDonald rhyme while seeing all the farm animals..

Lunch time was fun where we sat all these kiddos on a table to have whatever they wanted to eat. We Mama’s sat alongside and chit-chatted, while repeatedly asking our kiddos to sit still and eat and finish their meal. Cox had a variety of food- there was pizza, fries, pb&j sandwiches.. and some other options as well, I think. So packing lunch from home is completely unnecessary (one less thing to worry about!)

Ay had his favorite food, pizza. I must say, this is one kid who wouldn’t touch pizza or go anywhere close to it, until a few months back. And so was the case with pasta. But now you ask Ay what he wants to eat, his immediate response, without a thought, would be pizza or pasta! Can’t blame him, his parents love junk food (so I guess that’s what will run in his blood? Yikes!!) 😐

The hay-ride was a terrific experience. It was more fun than any hayride I’ve been on. Ay listened and looked around. He insisted on standing up a few times, which course was not allowed (so we had some fretting over that)!

Oh oh oh!! I must not forget to mention the yummy-licious cider donuts and apple cider. Gosh those donuts were so good that I could go there just for that! And Ay drank more cider than me. Enough said! 🙂

We wanted to spend sometime walking around and checking out more stuff, but by the time we were done with the hayride I wanted to get home. I was having a splitting headache and was tired, that even pushing Ay on the stroller, back to the car, seemed like a task at that point.

The experience was a fun one. And we picked two pumpkins on our way out 🙂

We were definitely plumped (thank you, donuts!), bronzed (thank you, sun!) and pumped (thank you Cox farms)!

If you are considering farm visiting this season, I’d highly recommend Cox Farms. It’s a true delight for the tots.

Also if you have suggestions for other farms we could visit, please leave a comment. We hope to cover as many as we can this season.

Happy farm toddling, friends! 

Day Out With Thomas & Friends

Chugga chugga! Chugga chugga!! Toot! Toot!

Ay loves and adores trains. It’s funny, cos if you knew Ay (even a little), you’d know how crazy he is about elevators. I didn’t think there was a cure for that, until he started getting fascinated with trains. I never introduced Thomas the train to him, but one day after school, he came to me and started talking about it. I honestly did not know enough and in order to fill his inquisitive mind, I read about it. Trust me, even at this point I don’t know enough but what I know is more than sufficient for my almost 3 year old. Hallelujah!!

When I knew Thomas and friends were coming to Strausburg, I was excited! And I knew I had to take my train obssessed son to see him! I marked my calendar and purchased the tickets 2.5 weeks in advance. We kept talking about it closer to the date, and so, he knew he’d be going to see Thomas on the weekend. He was excited about it even before we started our trip. Oh these little toddler sweethearts!!

We left home on Saturday late morning. We got there by 1pm (which in my honest opion was late. We should have been there by 11AM).  As we walked in after parking our car, to Ay’s delight, there he was– a real, life-sized Thomas!! He pointed to Thomas bouncing in excitement and shrieked, “Mumma look, there’s Thomas the train!!!

We started off with riding on Perci. It was a sweet 10-minute ride up and down the track. Ay was so in love with the experience that he wanted to hop in and off the train, and also wanted a whole seat for himself.

We then did a short Thomas ride and a long Thomas ride. Basically all the excitement was just seeing Ay’s face light up as the train chugga-chugga-choo-choo’ed up and down. He would chant, “slumber lumber up the hill, “chuuu chuuu“, “toot toot” as we went along! It was the first time I saw him engaged and  completely involved. There were no meltdowns, and zero tantrums! He was just so in awe of all the trains around and train rides.

After we finished the rides we stopped for lunch and then stopped by the imaginary station where Ay got his first ever tattoo.. haha he chose Thomas the train (duh!) and was excited that Thomas could hang out with him, on his hand!!!

We couldn’t make it to other stuff around there cos it was 4pm and they were closing. Bummer!!

We made our last stop at the gift shop and walked back to the car for our 3 hour drive back home. At this point I could see lil Ay was so tired from all the sun and heat. His hair was wet with sweat and his cheeks were flushed. But he was happy and thrilled. He looked more adorable than ever! I washed him up, fed him some quick on-the-go food because I knew he would soon crash for the day. And have very sweet dreams of Thomas and other trains. I was sure!!

Was the trip worth it?

We weren’t thrilled about the heat. There were moments I felt sick while on the train. So yes, there were moments where I had to remind myself and R that the ride was not for us. It was solely for Ayden. And I know, with no doubt whatsoever, that he had a blast. And I’m sure he’ll remember this experience! I personally feel he was at the right age to appreciate and enjoy this experience!

Trust me, if you are contemplating whether to go or not, all I’ll say is, the pure joy on your kids face on seeing Thomas will surely melt your heart and that’s probably the only reason you’ll need to take them there ❤

Tips for the trip-

1. Reach early so you can enjoy the other things that come free with the ride.

2. Arrive one hour ahead of your Thomas ride.

3. Push around your stroller as it’s too hot for our tots to walk around all day.

4. Carry small dry snacks so there are no hunger meltdowns.

5. Dress light and airy as much as possible.

6. Remember to wave out every chance you get to Thomas as he makes his way up and down the tracks. My tot loved this!!

7. It does not matter where you sit on the train so don’t bother scampering around!

8. Oh! and you can flip your seats in any direction you want to face! I found this so damn cool cos I get sick if I sit facing the opposite direction :-/

9. Take lots and lots of pictures! The first time is always the most special, right!

Enjoy your time 🙂

And.. that day is finally here!!

No more tears for preschool!!!!! Praise God.


I still remember the first time we took Ay to school. All those fat tears in everyone’s eyes. And all our hearts racing. The whole entire unsettled feeling. And constantly questioning ourselves if this was the right decision. Thinking what’s going on and what he’s doing all those hours while we aren’t around. Is he being taken care of well? Is he eating well? Etc. etc. etc.

The teachers and directors told me that some kids take a few weeks, and some kids need at least few months. They also told me that Ay seemed very attached and so it may take some extra time for him to adjust. So I was hopeful. But even 6 months later Ay would cry so much at drop-off. It was hard, so hard, to see this child so upset to go to school.

I met with his teachers before drop-off, after drop-offs, at pick-up, at PTA’s, spoke to management and did everything else I could to make some difference for him. But Ay was still all about “No I don’t like going to school“. I would never get a clear reason why he did not want to go.

He would take couple minutes to settle down, and once he did, I would get pictures of him engaging in every activity. Every picture or video was of him laughing and enjoying there. So I knew he was fine, and was doing well. And that only drop-offs were our real challenge.

FullSizeRender.jpgEvery morning scene on the way to school 😦

We switched his school thinking maybe that would make a difference. But at the new school too, he behaved the very same. Here’s where you can read about our super-stressful initial weeks.

For months I’ve been telling Ay that Mumma needs to drop him off at school so she and Appa (his dad) can get money to buy him toys. I would say this for months and all I’d get in return is more tears or heartbreaking dialogs like “Ayden don’t want toys“, “I come with Mumma to office“, “No office Mumma“, “I stay with Mumma“. I almost gave up on that story but would keep repeating it (cos when my Mum was here she would keep saying it to him even though all she got back was louder howls and more tears). But one could see, he was still listening!

FINALLY, this morning when Ay woke up he said, “Ayden needs to go to school so Mumma can bring money for toys“. And I was waiting for the howling to start.. but he just got off the bed and straightened the blankets. And then making his way into the bathroom to brush his teeth. Even when R was changing his clothes and getting him ready, there was no “no school” whining. Even at breakfast there were no unpleasant talks about going to school.

After we left home, here’s the series of events:

  • We left from home, waved bye to Appa and got into the car. No tears!
  • I reached his school and we parked. No tears!
  • I walked through the corridors to his class. No tears!
  • I entered his classroom and greeted his teacher. He smiled and greeted her as well.
  • He jumped into her hands, and asked to see his other teacher. No tears!
  • He turned back and looked for me. I said “Bye kutta, I’ll see you soon“. His eyes filled up with tears.
  • I closed the door and peeked in from the window and waved. He waved back.
  • I ran for my life. Cos I was feeling sad (seeing my brave boy), and did not want to ruin it for him too.

I never saw this day coming, to be honest. But it happened. Today!! And I am hoping all those fat tears are behind us. Forever!

I know he likes his school. Cos he talks about his day, his teachers and his friends. He’s also super happy and engaged at pick-up time.

And me?

I am grateful.
And happy.
And proud of my Dapper boy!

My child has finally achieved another milestone.

I’m just glad we gave him the time to cope and adjust and finally figure it out.  R is the one who kept repeating, “Ay will figure it out“. Cos I would fold the first chance I had, if he didn’t stand strong.

But through this, I have realized that as parents, sometimes we just have to believe that our kids can do it. And just give them their own time to come out of phases until they attain their comfort levels.

Last but not the least, keep repeating “everything will be ok“, for your child to hear and for you to believe.

Proud of you Aidoos  ❤

A BIG thank you to all those of you who prayed for us and encouraged us. Hugs!!

Family Picnic

I love summer time. And try to make the most out of it every year. Especially now that Ay is there its super important that we teach him to enjoy the outdoors. If you ask my neighbors, they’ll tell you how they see me outside every single day, unless of course life gets in the way 🙂

Also in a country where you have harsh winters, you absolutely need a lot of sun-soaking to get through those months.

I was working Saturday morning and I got home to a sleeping Ay. It was finally a day in the weekend where we didn’t have plans to have anyone over, or meet anyone, or visit a place or have a schedule in place. Thats so rare for us! So when we had that, we were thinking of spontaneous plans. This became more important because once Ay started full-time school he really looks forward to the weekend and so we try to ensure we’re making it lots of fun. We wanted something that required less planning and some place we could just be ourselves, and do what we wanted.

R suggested, a picnic at Gravelly point!

And I smiled. In my mind, Ay has been part of many neighborhood picnics, and he seemed to enjoy those. So I thought maybe it’d be fun if we started a family picnic tradition.

We decided to take our first official family picnic this month. We went to Gravelly point as we thought that’s enough space for Ay to run around and kick his ball around. And enough space for all of us to sit around and do little nothings, while watching airplanes land and take-off. Ay enjoys looking at planes as they fly by and so we thought this would be an entertaining spot for him.

As you know, Entertained toddler = Happy & relaxed parents.

When Ay woke up, I started to get him ready while R packed our picnic bag. We packed towels, Ay’s ball, water, change of clothes for him and some of Ay’s favorite snacks. We wanted to make sandwiches but we decided it was too late and probably stressful to deal with those details. We drove by a Lebanese cafe on the way and picked up yummy-licious shawarma’s, and some falafel.

We got to the picnic place and found our spot. It was super crowded but yet there was enough space for everyone to feel comfe. The minute we reached and lay our bag down, Ay got busy with his ball. He was not too impressed with seeing airplanes up-close. And it was much louder than he was used to.

We sat there talking, laughing, and chasing Ay (Cos the kid just can’t sit still).

It was a simple evening. A super easy one. And yet, it felt energizing. I think our family needed that change from our usual evening routine. It felt good.

I guess there’s something about the outdoors that bring a special feeling to even regular mundane things. Maybe it was the extra load of Vitamin D, who knows!

My little Maradona ❤

Blowing pappus (used to be my favorite thing too..)

Watching the airplanes fly by..

Do you have family picnics? What are your favorite spots? What are your favorite picnic meals?

Ayden Goes to the Doctor

05/24/2017! (Yes this post is dated. I forgot all about it until I saw it now..)

The first time Ayden did not cry at his doctors appointment.

Every appointment in the past has been him excited to take the elevator up to the doctors office. And period! The screaming, crying and anxiety issues start soon after.

I’d let him go up and down the elevator at least twice. My thought process here is that this process would help ease him a little bit. But just as soon as we’ve reached the second floor, his face would change, or he’d reluctantly walk, or drag himself or say, “Mumma cawwiee me“.

As soon as the nurse calls out his name, the cry starts and also the “All done” screams (even before we get started). Ayden cries for getting undressed, for checking his weight, height, opening his mouth to check his throat, ear or anything. The minute the doctor enters the room ALL hell breaks lose. He screams a lot more!

2.5 years and its been tears, shouts, tears, shouts and more tears and shouts. Honestly after an appointment I am drained because for about an hour of waiting, getting in, and his checkup, its just screaming, crying, yanking and pulling. And boy-oh-boy is that exhausting or what!

I started reading him the book, “Corduroy goes to the doctor” for a week now and thankfully, he now loves the book. 1

Day before at night, I told him we were going to see the doctor the next day and he was as usual talking about the elevators that get him there. As soon as we reached we went up the elevator (this time just once as we were running late for our 9am appointment). And that did not seem to bother him.

For a change I saw Ayden happily hopping to the doctors office. He then starts playing with the toys there and I am sitting there staring in wonder. I have never had a chance to sit on the waiting chairs until now.

The nurse calls his name and he runs after her. And she says, “he’s a happy boy today!” I go in after him, and she asks to bring him out to his height and weight check. This child sits to take him shoes off and goes after the nurse and stands on the scale with so much pride. At this moment my eyes are literally popping out. Because MY Ayden Koshy, the son I birthed, has never been this easy. My shirt, my pants and my hair are ALL in place! That’s the FIRST TIME EVER!!!! I have not been yanked, pulled, kicked or gone deaf by his flying hands and feet and his screaming and wailing mouth! #PeaceOnEarthMoment

He soon went to the room, and sat there with me talking about the different decals on the wall. As soon as the doctor walked in, a usually petrified and crying Ayden sat there smiling wide and said “Good morning Doctor“. I could have fainted at this moment.

So Momma’s my point in all this– Yes toddlers do the stupidest things, behave the craziest, have terrible reflexes. All of them scream, whine, and cry. They are all unreasonable and demanding. Some are better than the other. But ultimately they ALL grow out of the various phases. We are not stuck forever. And if anyone’s toddler has doctor anxiety issues, then this Corduroy book is helpful.

Preschool… Sigh!


One place Ay hates to go is preschool. Yes, I know ‘hate’ is a strong word. But what other word can you use when your child cries at night as well as in the morning saying he does not want to go to school? 😦

Our everyday morning conversation:

Me: “Ayden, you are going to have so much fun with your teacher and friends at school
Him: “No I stay home with Mumma” 😦

Brushing, changing clothes, breakfast– everything starts off happy but two minutes in, and he’s whining when he realizes its all the steps before going to school. Sigh!

Finally we wear our shoes and are out the door. And I get constant requests- “Mumma I sit carseat and put buckle“, “Mumma lets go to the elevator“, “Put wheels on the bus“, “Put old mcDonald pwease“, or “Mumma turn the cd off“. I take any request because I do not want him to cry again.

But on the drive he remembers he’s going to school, and it starts “no school Mumma” accompanied with frowns, tears, screams. He’s just not happy. And I try and push in some pep lines of how there will be ABC song, playground time, story time etc. but really, nothing makes him happy. Sigh again.

I make that turn into preschool and there’s a loud burst of tears. I pick him out of the car and he pleads “lets go home“, “no school Mumma“. At this point I feel like crap. I am forcing my son to do something he just hates. I feel helpless. At this point I stop bragging about school. But I just hold him tight, and tell him everything will be ok.

As we walk in and through the corridors, I whisper how much I love him, and tell him how great his day is going to be. And I greet everyone I see with a bright smile, because I want Ayden to pick on the happiness. But no, he’s still unhappy. I walk into his class and greet his teachers and say hello to his friends and literally choke while I say the same line every morning, “Mumma loves you Ayden. Everything will be ok, I promise. I will be back soon!” His eyes look at me, and good Lord I die of guilt. Every single morning! His teacher lovingly takes him and starts to distract him. There’s giant tears rolling out of his eyes and cheeks and face getting red.

And once I turn, the complete meltdown happens. And my child is screaming and crying “call my Mumma“, “Mumma coming back“, “I want Mumma“. I stand outside his classroom listening to all this, while constantly telling myself that I am doing it for his good. I wait until he’s calmed down before I leave. I feel helpless. I feel like a giant abandoner. I have cried many tears myself when I am walking out and while in the car. I text R to ask if we are doing the right thing. I whatsapp my parents asking them what I should do, or end up Skyping when I feel like bursting out!

I like to think of Ay having a great time running around, and coloring and playing and just having a good time alongside his friends. To have fun just the way it was intended to be. But that, I think is somewhere along the way. Not right away anyway.

This preschool ride has not been easy. Not one bit! We even changed schools. And it’s still our first week in this new school. I hope things get better for both of us. And I hope he will soon run in through those doors happy and cheerful, waving a big HAPPY goodbye to me.

I really want him to enjoy and love going to preschool. If anyone has tips, advice, or ideas on how to make this better, I’d love to hear from you ❤


Happy Mother’s Day Mumma’s!

“When you look at your mother, you are looking at the purest love you will ever know.”

1.jpgWhen did those eyebrows become thicker?
When did that head fill up with hair?
When did those fists uncurl?
Where did those sweet baby features vanish?

…. And to imagine all this happened right in front of my eyes!!!!

#Dang #Sob #SonShine #BlinkedAndGone #SmallTugInMyHeart#MothersDay2017

Happy (belated) Mother’s Day to every mother who thinks the same upon looking at their child’s old pics. Haha even when your child has reached retirement age

Thank you my precious son (who looks nothing like me) for this privilege, honor and blessing to be your Mumma 💙 #Established2014

Hope you Mumma’s had a great day.

God bless us all as we strive on to raise amazing humans!