Ever since Ay was 3 years old he’d ask if he could have a brother or sister. His entire toddlerhood and preschooler days were filled with play dates, playing with the neighborhood kids or spent outside with our friends or family.
So I always wondered why he felt the need for another child. I couldn’t think of another child then as Ay kept me on my toes. To date I call him my 3-in-1 child because thats the energy needed to even remotely keep up with him. Any of our family and close friends can vouch to this too!
Once he was a little older, my mom once told Ay that if he prayed, Jesus would give him a baby. Her words inscribed in his heart. And he prayed for a baby brother. I did explain to him few times how he could have many children and a big family (cos the lad has always been a lover of big families with 3 & 4 children!) But though he nodded to what I said, night after night (now) big brother prayed for a “baby” to call his own. Little did I know then that these prayers would change Heavens plans for our family.
Fast forward to 2023. And just before our very first most awaited travel of the year, to Australia, I found out I was pregnant. The first person I wanted to tell was Ay. But I knew this was a moment he was longing for and so we decided to wait as this news would mean the world to him.
After 18 weeks, R and I sat him down when he got back from school. R told him the “news!” There was so much excitement in his eyes and voice. But a slight spec of disbelief too. But he could not contain his joy and came and hugged me. We then handed him the ultrasound that he so fondly looked at and kissed.
My heart melted. After being an only child for 9 years, he gets to now share his world with a little someone.
I knew from that moment that watching my baby become a big brother to his little sibling was going to be my lives most treasured adventure.
When I think back, I realize that kids definitely pray differently than us grown up’s. Somehow they don’t think of the how/why/when. They just believe if they keep asking, God will say “yes”. It’s a blind sort of belief!
Their relation is not the traditional sibling age gap, but our prayer is they will be a blessing to each other and always look out for each other. My secret wish is that they forever have a twinkle in their eyes when they look at each other.
Having a sister was God’s way of showing Ay that He hears prayers. I pray that whenever Ay looks at his little sister, she will be his “living reminder” that God answers prayers, but in His time. And I hope he exercises this kind of simple faith to achieve bigger things in his life.
Ever since the pandemic, life got a whole lot busier. Its probably because we are re-adapting to the life we once knew. Or probably because we are making up for everything we think we missed out on. Or a combination of those two and several others.
I signed Ay back for extracurricular classes. A lot of which we had started pre-pandemic, but got no where. Sigh! We lost 2 years. Yep! We all did.
This entire year, every evening I find myself finishing work and rushing out to pick him from school and hurrying up for classes. It feels like the day starts off with the alarm blaring for wake-up time, then the morning rituals, school dropoff, homework, activities, game practice and special programs. And the day again ends with rushing back through the door for shower, dinner, prayer and bedtime. It’s quite the marathon.
I sometimes feel bad for rushing him so constantly. From the time his eyes open, it’s one to-do item after the next (and oh boy! This child thrives on reminders!) And despite me feeling bad for him, I keep repeating it. For some reason, slow evenings create a sense of guilt that I’m probably not doing enough. Not sure it’s my way of compensating for him being my only child.
And if I’m being honest, there have been moments I wonder why I squish so much in. Is it worth it in the long run?
But then I see him. He is involved and learning in every class. He has so much enthusiasm and enjoys his time learning new skills and makes an effort to progress. It’s really something to see your kids energy being chanelized and their confidence grow!
Its in those moments that I am reminded that I’m doing the right thing. For the right reasons! It does not matter if I’m tired, or other things take a backseat, or our social life needs to be readjusted. Its me taking the time to grow with him. These busy days will soon be behind me and I know I’ll miss them. But at least then when I look on the memories, I’ll know I spent the best time with him. While doing the best I possibly could.
At lunch time at work today, a colleague of mine was talking about how her days have slowed down so much since her daughter left for uni. My heart raced because I know its every moms reality. Myself included.
So much of our lives revolve around the Cubs we created. Raising them consumes us, that sometimes we forget that time rushes on, faster than we realize. Instead of feeling overwhelmed or second guessing ourselves, lets simply embrace our today, enjoy the season we are in and savor its sweetness.
Very soon, all of us mums with littles today, will look back at all these busy years, and crazy schedules and realize they were the best years of our lives. ❤
I did not make it to writing a 7th birthday post for you this year. In fact since 2020 I’ve started few lines on so many posts and gotten no where with any. But soon, my goal is to click “Publish” on each one of them.
My 7 year old little boy. There’s just so much I want to say. Especially with this whole pandemic and constantly being together, I’ve seen you grow so much. The days come and go so fast, that I do worry sometimes that it’ll all just very soon be some of my sweetest memories. This time now and here is all I have.
This year has been quite interesting. You’re so big and yet so small. You keep reminding me that you’re a big boy now. Despite those constant reminders too, there are several moments when I see my little boy in you.
You still continue to be my strong willed and sensitive boy. Sometimes your tone, temper and attitude call for my truly, madly and deeply side 😤 But under all the loudness and temper, is a very warm and kind heart deep within. It always marvels me how a firecracker like you can melt so easily. And all this within a blink of an eye. You can forgive anyone no matter what they’ve done to you the second they say sorry. I’ve stood in awe watching you several times forgiving the meanest things. Even at home, you forgive us for all the times we haven’t been patient or kind. God bless that heart of yours. And may it forever seek to be as kind and giving.
With every year your emotions grow bigger than you. And they come out of you in the form of power battles, screams and attitude. Somehow in those moments I tend to overlook your littleness. But there are so many times that I see your innocence, your love and your kindness. And throughout these moments, I go between seeing you as my baby and as a boy who’s not yet grown.
Appa still continues to be your favorite person. Appa always said theres no one in this world who’s understood him fully. And I think God really answered his prayers by bringing you into our world. You both are truly birds of a feather. The same things interest you, you laugh just like him, you make the same choices he would make, and you enjoy spending time with him every chance you get. You even look a lot like him.
You and I? You are constantly in a tug of war between wanting me and resisting me. I’m reserved for the “I’m in trouble, save me!” or for when the water works are on. And I’m grateful for those. You still need me to navigate those moments. Cos soon, even before I know it, you’ll be thinking yourself and coming up with much better solutions than I possibly could. And this year you told me, “Mama you need to let me learn my own lessons.” I struggle with it at times, but I’m trying to let go and give you your space to experience and develop.
You are a child who is so filled with love. You have so much love inside of you that you are willing to share to all around you. The Lord has truly filled you with His joy that so easily draws you to people. You love to be around people and talk endlessly. No matter who talks or doesn’t, who plays or doesn’t, who includes you or doesn’t, it does not matter to you. I hope it all remains the same forever. For you the world is just a beautiful place and you want to just enjoy it (while whining ofcoz cos that’s a part of yourself.)
Our family is filled with strong personalities who have even stronger opinions. So it’s no wonder you haven’t fallen too far from this apple tree. Many a times our emotions are high, patience runs low and power struggles become a constant. But during the quiet moments of the day, I do see your innocence, your goodness and your littleness. I hope you see our love too.
Even when you scream “You’re the worst mom”, I see you my boy. I may not show it, don’t behave like it, may not even say it– But the Lord knows, I see all of you– your edges and your softness. And see the lovely miracle that you are.
Whatever tomorrow brings, we are in your corner. And we will forever be your team and your biggest fans.
Love you my sweet child, Mama
** This blog sat in drafts for close to 11 months. Truly since 2020 it’s all been a haze! Thinking of it– almost time for the 8yo post!
Thank you! It’s two very simple words but I can never express the true depth and breadth of how grateful I am to you for everything you have done for me and for the number of times I have leaned on you. You have never been super vocal but your quiet yet strong presence and effortless dedication to love and care has always been strongly felt by me.
In a world that has only expectations about daughters- what they should wear, what they can do, where they can go, limiting their education, rushing to get them married- you were the rock by my side who always said, “You are perfect the way you are. I will support you no matter what it takes”.
Whether I succeed or fail, I know your arms will be open for me. I still remember the time I had my first car accident and when everyone panicked, I called you and told you, that I met with an accident and I am not sure where my license is. I knew you were worried, but all you said was, “Are you ok? Is it hurting anywhere? Don’t worry. I will find your license and come to you.” (when my dear Mama just hearing half of what I said was crying on the phone and freaked out and ran out of the house without sandals to only run back up and wear them.. lol)!! And the minute you came you checked again to see I was physically ok and you saw me just shivering from shock, and you said, “It will be ok. Nothing to worry. I’m here” and held my hand firmly.
From the day I took my first steps, to the day I walked into my first day at work at Infosys, to the morning you walked me down the aisle you’ve always been by my side, and continue to be my constant source of joy, strength, comfort and support.
Anyone who knows you knows what I am talking about, and can speak to the trueness of your heart ❤
️Always and forever I love you and you will always be my #1! Thank you for being a loving husband, an amazing dad to the four of us, a fun-tastic Poppy to the two monkeys. We all love you heaps.
God bless you and keep you always. I miss you today a little more than I miss you everyday. Wish we can soon spend a lot of time together ❤
Hope today is a fun filled day of cutting your cake, gobbling some mutton biryani and slurping some payasam.
Today I am a mom of a 6 year old. Boy oh boy, I can’t believe how soon time flew by. When I look at you, I don’t always see the big boy you are now. There are so many times that little baby and toddler stages flash in front of my eyes. And I keep wishing I could keep you tiny ❤️
This year has been a big year for you! So many new experiences, and learnings came your way. I’m grateful that since day one, you easily adjust to any situation. Change does not truly bother you. And this year that quality has been helpful because of the big change for us all in this pandemic and adjusting constantly to new normals. I’ve complained like a 100 times in quarantine but you still seem to be so happy!
This year you are a Kindergartener! Though it’s like nothing we imagined (thanks to Covid-19), I am so glad that you enjoy your online classes and love interacting with your teachers and friends. Though we have those occasional “Mama I need help” screams, you’ve learned to navigate the laptop and google classroom. I’m very proud of you for managing online school by yourself 👏
This year you learned to ride a cycle! With you, trying any new thing is first a firm NO. And this was no different, so I had to push you to first get started. Then on, it was all you. Now you pace through the streets and roads and I wonder, “maybe I should’ve waited another year”, lol! Though it involved few heart attacks, lost breaths, panics, putting ointment and bandaids, and plenty of gray hair in the process, it’s going to be my favorite memory for this year ❤️ You have figured out shortcuts in the neighborhood that even we don’t know. And I love when you share details of your secret spots and hideouts and I need to behave like I don’t know where any of that is (when I know exactly where all you’ve been via your tracker 😂)
This year I feel you truly grew up. You have learned to understand so many feelings, emotions and expressions you never even noticed earlier. I’ve seen you struggle through figuring your emotions, trying to hold back tears, and figure out how to respond to different people, while also slowly but steadily learning to ignore certain behaviors from people. My heart has broken a few times in the process too watching you figure things out and deal with it. I know these experiences will only make you stronger and better as you go along.
Life is not easy little one, but I’ll be there beside you. Even though I glare, stare, or correct you a lot, always know that I’m in your corner. I hope you always know that no matter what choices you make, no matter how badly you think you’ve messed up, that I will love you. Always! Your value in my heart, my life and my soul is set. It’s at its peak, and there’s nothing you can do or not do to change that. Ever!
While I’m constantly trying to teach you things, the reality is I’m learning a lot over the years from you too. One of the biggest things you model constantly is easily forgiving and forgetting. Forgiving is not hard for me, but I struggle with forgetting, and I wish one day soon I too will be able to do it as easily as you do. Another one I’ve learned from you is to laugh through life. I don’t know how you do it, but even if something makes you really angry or sad.. once that moment has passed, you are immediately laughing and moving on with the next thing. Thank you Aydoo for teaching me some of the most important things in life.
This year your obsession with Paw Patrol still continues but it’s reduced a lot! And cars are kinda making it’s way to the top of the list now. We thought you’d be into Star Wars & super heroes but doesn’t look like you care as yet. Nothing makes me happier cos I just don’t understand any of that and not sure what the hype is about. Appa will strongly disagree with me as he is waiting to take you along for anything Marvel “first day, first show.” Maybe when it’s time, you can teach me 😁
This year you were obsessed with badminton, basketball and playing more board games and uno! Our family time involves those things on repeat mode. You love the outdoor and I truly hope it stays that way for a long long time.
Few things I want you to remember for this year-
1. Losing is growing- You are still learning to lose with grace. It’s not easy at all for you but you’ve come a long way from when we started. With time you’ll learn that everything in life is not about coming first. Any experience in life is to have fun and enjoy, and every mistake or failure is a chance to learn, improve and do better.
2. Nurture kindness and be humble- I won’t say A’s don’t matter or winning a game doesn’t count. But what truly matters is to aim at being the best version of yourself. Whether you are saving ants, sharing toys with a friend, apologizing when you are wrong, smiling and greeting everyone you see, holding a door open— it all matters. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. If you have a chance to choose, always choose to be kind.
3. Work hard & have faith in God- Do your best at what you want and don’t give up too soon. You have learned this from me and I wish I could take it back. Follow your heart, treasure your family, share and care for your friends. Always work hard to be the best at what you want to be. That should be enough. Have faith in Jesus and lean on Him for if there’s one person in this world who loves you more than me, it’s Him! Continue to say your prayers and continue to rely on him for the smallest things and you’ll taste and see His goodness from this young age onwards.
Six seems so very big at times, but I know you are still my little boy. As grown up as you seem, I am so thankful that you still like to cuddle with me. And you still want to sleep in my bed. Bedtime stories are constantly interrupted by “but Mama why.. what.. how.. when..” and I need to constantly remind you that bedtime stories are to listen and imagine in your head only (while also reminding myself that it’s only coz of your inquisitive mind.) I love how you still love to hug and kiss and cuddle, a whole lot more this year 🥰
Six years went by soon. I guess that happens with most moments in this life – especially the good ones- You’re my absolute greatest ones.
Happy Birthday my sweet boy. You are, quite simply, the best thing that has ever happened to us.
All my love, Mama
PS: Usually I write your birthday post at least a few weeks in advance. But this time I’m writing this a day after your birthday. Sorry Bud, but again, thanks Covid 🤨
Maybe this is natures way of helping us all slow down, spend time with our families while allowing the world to heal from all the damage we’ve created so far.
Yes many people are have left this world, so many families suffering and many more infected by the virus. And that pain can never be explained. And everyone across the globe who believes in God is crying and praying for a revival!
While we complain how boring things are and how inconvenient this whole thing is.. let’s think of people who have to work amidst this.. let’s think about the many families who’ve faced their worst fear. And remind ourselves how lucky we are! We have the privilege of being inside the house, working from home, cooking our favorite meals, playing board games, taking time for self care, watching movies… yes, we’re blessed! Let’s continue to remain grateful 🙏🏻 .
Everyday like you I too ask “for how much longer?” And I too wish the world went back to the one it was just few months ago! But there’s so much uncertainty, a lot of unanswered questions, no medicine, no solutions, and such a load of anxiety!! We never expected to face anything like this ever. This we thought was for movies only. However, we’re in it now. My only solace in all this is that it’s happening with Gods knowledge and I always believe that He knows best. There are so many times I just want to shut the news, or not listen to people who talk about it, and ignore text messages that provide me with live updates because it’s all so scary. And I refuse to think about a world with so many deaths.. and so many more!
I wish like Disney some magic potion could be used or a wand could be waved and make everything ok. But this maybe a wait. A painfully long one! But at the same time,I believe in miracles and I’m praying that our prayers reach Heaven and the Lord miraculously ends all of this suffering. Until then let’s make the most of the precious time we have now, and use it well. Many people don’t have today.. and many won’t see tomorrow. But we’re here, and alive and we will make it to the history books— so let’s make these moments count in order to have a great story to tell our grandkids!!
Pray.. endless, without ceasing. There is a God, and He sees us and hears us. He sees our fears, knows our anxieties and will answer us our every prayer. Let’s believe and hope and pray unitedly that this ends very soon. And we return back to our world more boldly, with more gratefulness in our hearts, and live life more deliberately, consciously and meaningfully.
May the Lord bless you, keep you and protect you. Stay safe. Much love ❤️
If you know me even a little, you know of my obsession for Trader Joe’s. Its not a simple liking alone. Its like a religion, something thats a strong part of me.
And somewhere in the process, I passed on the love for TJ to my offspring as well!
Ay is that kid. The one who is dreaming about snacks while eating his meals! And, if given the opportunity, you can find him happily munching on something right after his meal.
So I thought I’d do a blog post about his favorite snacks at TJ.
White Cheddar Corn Puffs
Apple Crushers
Cheddar Rocket Crackers
Mini Cheese Crackers
Blueberry & Vanilla Yogurt
Wildberry Smoothie
Cheese Twirls
Cheese Sticks
Apple + Strawberry Bar
Beets Crackers
Dollar Pancakes
There are a few more snacks I want Ay to try, and we will add those in here if it falls in our favorite list.
Going to TJ for Ay has more benefits than just getting his snacks. He also eats a pack of sugar (lol, don’t ask me for any logic behind that. I stop to drink coffee and he picks a pack of sugar. Its just the norm!)
He also gets to checkout the items we buy (which is his absolute favorite!). The people at the counter are so polite and kind and make you feel so warm & welcome. Ay ensures he gets his stickers and lollipop. Every. Single. Time.
Off-late we have reduced snacks at our household because I’ve been wanting Ay to have 3 proper meals. He is constantly in the fridge or cupboards looking for something to munch. So now mostly what I do is just keep fresh cheese, fruits and yogurt.
But I went today and grabbed a few of these as the snack stash at home came to almost nothing!
If you have TJ kid fav’s that we have not tried yet, please let me know 🙂
When my parents mentioned their plans to leave Dubai, a plethora of emotions fought for my attention.
The news filled me with a kind of emptiness, sadness and grief. Because although I knew it would not be our home forever, I was not prepared for this now. And did not know how to bid farewell to a home that holds a huge volume of memories; many of our tears and smiles and so much history and sweet memories.
Its the only home that’s been with me, ever since I remember. For the past 35 years.
We’ve parted ways before, but it was only temporary.
When I left home for college, when I got married and moved several miles away. But yet it remained a safe place for me to land and continued to be my dated haven.
Oh, but this time it’s different.
This time, when my parents close the door behind them for the last time, they are leaving behind a lifetime of memories forever. And the next time I visit my parents, it will be in a house that holds very limited history for me. My grandparents house is special, but will never hold the same warmth and familiarity than our Dubai home, ever.
If the walls in that home could speak, it could tell you so many of my childhood memories:
This is the home where I was my little- self and grew into my adolescent self, and my adult-self.
The home where I stuck posters all over the wall that mum would relentlessly pull out..
Where I left eyeliner marks on the bathroom towels..
Where I would push all the canes dad had behind the cupboard to avoid getting beatings..
The corridors where we played with kids who were Arabs, Indians, Pakistanis, Palestinians and Lebanese..
My bedroom where I tossed and turned; the kitchen counter where I sat to eat my food..
The bathroom where I would sneak in few extra minutes of sleep when I was pushed to wake up and start going..
The room where bro & I fought as well as shared our deepest secrets..
Parents bedroom where we would sit around on the bed sharing stories, problems and just being a family..
Jumping through the bedroom windows to sneak the phone while mum and dad went outside..
The balcony where I would empty milk into plant pots..
The guest bathroom where I’ve flushed so many kinds of food that I did not like to eat..
My bedroom where when cousins came over was packed and each person had their own space in the room and we would talk, laugh and play (a time when no one had a mobile, iPad or any other gadget)..
The living room where so many guests and family members gathered around for any event- birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, New Year, Easter!
It’s the house that hosted so many men and women of God. And this house is where we got saved, and committed our lives to serve the Lord all the days of our lives.
How can I possibly say goodbye to all those memories?
This house has been a part of our every celebration. And has welcomed every new member who’s entered our family: my husband, my sister in law, my son and my little niece.
Our house was not huge, it was not too fancy either. We did not own it. But it was special. It wasn’t just made of bricks and mortar. It was more than furniture, rugs, counter tops, and paint colors – its foundation and core was built out of love, memories, relationships, feelings, and emotions.
It’s time to bid farewell. But I don’t know how. I am not crying but there’s a sense of emptiness and ache. But I know that soon, another family will move in and another story will rewrite our memories. I only pray that the next family moving in will be as content and blessed as we were in that space.
Karama Shopping Complex, A-24, thank you for the sweetest memories.
You will be fondly missed ❤
All I can think right now, is to make our current home today, one that is filled with a collection of feelings, emotions, and memories that one day will evoke the same kind of nostalgic and bittersweet sentiments in my kid and grand kids!
You are five. Wow, that sounds like such a big boy age.
About the past years ❤
Every year when it hits September, my heart races. I think it’s because I know you’re soon going to turn a year older. And no matter how happy I am, a huge part of me wishes you did not have to grow up so fast.
Around this time every year, I go over old pictures and videos of all your past years. And I cry. Because it makes me happy-sad. Sad-sad because I wish I could keep you as my baby forever. And happy-sad because I am so grateful to God that He chose me to be your Mama.
Kutta, in just a few blinks I feel you went from being my little tiny baby into a FIVE year old boy. And I am in awe of watching you grow (*blows nose into a tissue)
The 5 year old You ❤
Your smile is still pure sunshine. And your laughter is simply contagious. It’s my favorite thing about you! You are spirited, full of energy and life. Running is still a pleasure for you. You skipped napping at the age of two, and at the age of five you can go non-stop until 10 PM without resting those eyes or feet. And I haven’t been able to catch up as yet. Sleep still continues to be your least favorite thing in the world.
You are a huge fan of Appa and he is your favorite person in the world. The highlight of your day is “playing with Appa.” Appa always says, “You’rethe friend he never had,” because that’s the kind of love you have for him- so pure! You need Mama when its time for bed, or when you are sad, hurt, hungry or you have an urge to scream. And that’s okay. I am just glad you still need me. Don’t grow up too soon baby. Cos I realize, with each passing year, I tend to need you more and more.
I love how you listen and process things. And sometimes, your responses are so literal and hilarious. You understand so much, and so, there are times I need to tell myself that you’re just 5. And that’s still little. I know Mama is not the most patient person and I scream at you more than you deserve. I wish you knew that when all is dark and silent, I think about the things I could have said differently and hope I did not damage you. I stare at you sleeping and kiss you and apologize for those moments I was an absolute jerk. And pray to God that its wiped out from your memory, forever.
I can’t believe you will start Kindergarten next year. It makes me worry more than ever before. But I rest in the assurance that if there’s one person who loves you more than me, its God! And I’ll continue to pray He holds you close, when I can’t. I cannot tell you how relieved and happy I am that you still have an entire summer ahead to just be a kid. And we will make the most of it.
You are my world, and if possible, much much more than that ❤
Things you love..
Your favorite color is blue. That has not changed!
Your favorite TV show is: Paw Patrol (Chase is still your most favorite pup)
You have now started watching animated movies. And you enjoy it! Friday evenings are our movie nights.
Your favorite food is Mac & Cheese
You are still really into pretend play. I love hearing those dialogues!!
You love building with Lego
You love puzzles
We continue going for soccer. But you still don’t love it.
You are still a social butterfly. And that’s one thing I love and wish would stay forever.
You are now so into reading.
You love to travel. Flying on the plane is your favorite.
You don’t love school as yet. But you adjust easily so we’re kinda okay there.
You are slowly getting into cars (trains seem to be out of the favorite list)
You love birthdays, blowing candles and cutting cake!
Thank you for being my biggest blessing
These five years have given me more joy, more heartache, more pride, more hope, more fear, and more purpose than I could ever have imagined.
You’ve seen me at my best, and my absolute worst. But at the end of any of those moments, I love how we snuggle on the couch and when I explain things or apologize and say I love you, you always hug me and say the same words back. I guess you’ve understood and accepted that I’m sometimes a mess of a Mama– the kind who apologizes often and loves you fiercely with every cell in my body (all at once).
I pray you get closer and closer to your Creator with every passing year. That’s really the most important thing I can impart to you as a mum. I am happy you know Jesus today as someone who’s sitting far away and taking care of us. You also like to believe that He gives you anything you ask in prayer. I adore hearing you recite verses and sing gospel songs. May the Lord bless you and keep you Ay, and may His light always shine upon you and through you. May you be everything He created you to be.
No matter how old you get, you will always be Mama’s precious little boy. In me you will always have a place where you can be yourself. I will be here to listen when you need to vent, hold your hand, and wipe those tears away. I hope and pray that I can always be the mom that you need me to be.
You are, and will forever be my biggest blessing and my greatest accomplishment in life. I will always cheer you on and be on your side. To me, you are perfect (we are working on taming the tongue and whining less.)
Always remember– Nothing you do or say will ever make me not love you. We’re in this for the long haul kiddo! I am very proud to be your Mama. And I love (and will always love) being identified as “Ayden’s Mama” ❤
I love you the most. Okayyy, and so does Appa. And your grandparents. And cousins. And uncles. And aunts. And friends. I guess I am trying to say, you’re so loved!
Now let’s sing the birthday song loudly, blow the candles and make some wishes. And while you do that, through all the cheer, laughter and happy noise, I’ll be looking at that sweet face of yours and thinking of the song, “Slipping through my fingers all the time..” as I try to capture and freeze that face of yours and this moment in my heart & memories forever.
Wow, and just like that here comes another birthday. And trust me sweet child, I don’t think I have anything new to say than I’ve said all these years. Your birth has been the best thing I know ❤️
I think I no longer get to call you my toddler-boy. You are now my preschooler! Woah, that was fast 😔
I can still very clearly remember gazing into your newborn eyes and holding you so close the first time they placed you in my arms. And to think it was FOUR years ago, just seems so unreal. I feel sad because I miss that baby-you so much, but I’m super excited too because you’re at a fun stage now. And as each day goes by, I get to see and know the person you are growing up to be.
How would I describe you at 4?
Hmm.
You are sweet and super social. You are my wild child. You are stubborn. You have a little OCD. You are kind and loving. You have an extraordinary understanding. You are an award-winning whiner!! You are sensitive and kind. You are smart and my lil dapper boy. You have a super loud voice (and we’re constantly working on using your “inner voice” these days). You have great love and energy for life. You are forgiving and compassionate. You have the biggest heart!
Highlights from the past year:
Your pretend play: Your language, expression, script and the way you play every character simply amuses me so much. There have been so many times that I turn the FM in the car off just to hear everything you say. But there are times are turn on the FM too cos I can’t ever get you to stop talking.
The way you express your feelings and love: You’ve finally learned to express your feelings in words (though we still have to sometimes remind you to “use your big boy words”). I love how you come and tell your dad or me how you didn’t like what we did/ say and how we need to apologize to you. And as soon as we do, you immediately say, “that’s ok Appa/ Mama” with a wide smile. Now there are moments when you come along and say, “I love you so much” and that warms my heart so very much. You come and hug and kiss (without us having to ask you) and those are my favorite parts of the day.
Your independence: You’ve always been an independent child and loved doing things yourself. It’s in your personality to be that way, and we have always encouraged that. This year you’ve practically done everything for yourself in terms of dressing up, putting on your shoes, using the loo etc etc. Haha you even went to preschool one day without your underwear (and I found out about that when we got into the shower after returning home 🤣)
You’re obsessed with the word “Mama”: Not a minute goes by without the use and abuse of the word “Mama”. Even though I’m standing in front of you and practically spend the whole day with you!! I still remember how, when you were little, I would constantly come close to your face and say Maa-maa, just longing to hear you say it back to me. Its funny how that very same me now begs you to stop calling me!
Your helpful nature: You are naturally a good helper. Because even when no one asks you are always ready to help. You help us make coffee, load/unload dishwasher, clean the house, help with laundry and any other thing we do at home. You are a super helper at the grocery store (even when I wish I could just have you sit in the cart while I finish up). You are constantly asking me what we need and putting it in the cart; pushing the cart through the store; carrying the bags; putting the bags in the trunk and bringing them home. There are times you get over enthusiastic about helping which have led to me even shouting at you because I’m worried about you, though I know it’s the thought that matters and I should only thank God for your kind heart.
What else?
From hating birthdays, you practically love it now. You were so excited and counting days to your birthday this year. For the first time you asked to choose a birthday cake as well as ordered your own cake. Anyone who knows you, knows how very much you hated birthdays. From a crying and screaming child at birthday parties, you’re now asking everyone to sing for you and telling every person you meet “My birthday is Oct 25 and Mama ordered a cake!” That’s going to be my favorite memory of this year ♥️
I have to remind you several times (at the end of almost everyday) to put the toilet seat up and wipe it once you’re done using it #BigBoyProblems
You now have your group of friends as well as a best friend 😌
You are (finally!) happy to go to preschool and your teachers love you so much. Your teacher told me that you have such a respectful and complimentary nature that she wants to sometimes take you home because you make her feel so good. She thinks you will make a super sweet husband and father (her words in Gods ears!)
You fall asleep on your own in your own bed (though you roll into our bed almost every night).
You’re a lot into the word “poopy”, find burping super amusing (and all those other boy things).
You’re addicted to Paw Patrol. Though you still cling onto your trains as well.
Farms are still our favorite Fall hangout spot.
You are an outdoor child.
You play games on my phone (something I was hoping you wouldn’t do until you were a teenager).
You love playing board games.
If there’s one thing I completely dislike about the stage you are at, it’s your ‘4 going on 14’ attitude and backtalk. Oh my goodness you just drive me insane with that and I’m really hoping you get rid of that crazy side of you. It’s like you are a sweetheart 70% of the time and then transform into this adamant child the rest of the time, and I wonder who you are! I really really hope it’s just a “turning 4” phase and you completely come out of that soon 🙏🏻
You’re into clicking pictures. And if ever you get hold of my phone, and its locked, I can immediately hear you say, “Say cheeeeeeeese”
You’ve driven me up the wall many more times than I can count this past year. We’ve had several disciplining moments. As a family, we’ve had to work on our tones, language and attitudes. I laugh when I remember how you correct me when I’m wrong with your cliche one liners, “What did you say?”, “Watch your tone!”, “Thats a bad job”, “Use your inner voice” and the one that cracks us up: “Are you sure?” – “I don’t think so!” (Combo) 🤣
This summer was a blessing in disguise. You and I spent a lot of time together and we did so much every single day. We’ve soaked up every ounce of the sun, and turned 10 shades darker. It was great in many ways and I thank the Lord for the undivided time He let me have with you. I was your mom 24/7 and that was special. We’re back at soccer and we’ve joined a kids Bible learning class as well.
There’s not a day that goes by when I don’t thank the Lord for the precious loan He gave us, in the form of you. It truly is a priviledge to be known as your mum– beyond any other honor this world can give me.
This definitely is a big-boy birthday, and you are going to understand, realize, accept and learn so many more things that you’ve ever had to so far. I am not sure if I am more excited or worried for you. But no matter what, you know we’re there beside you, every step of the way.
I hope and pray that we will be instrumental in helping you see the plan and the purpose the Lord has placed in your life. I pray that your heart always seeks the Lord from this tender age onwards. I pray that at the first sign of fear, you will kneel down and seek God. I pray that all the Bible verses and prayers you learn and say now, will be engraved in the depths of your heart and you remember them when you are older. I pray the coming year be covered and sealed by the love, grace and protection from Above.
Though I yell and scream, I love you so very much my baby. And I just couldn’t imagine my life without you. Thank you for being my dapper boy, and hanging out with me all day/ everyday!
I’ll forever be grateful for these precious years of joy and madness. And with a heart filled with thankfulness to you for forgiving all my mistakes and waking up with a smile every single day ♥️
Happy birthday my sweet child. I hope the year ahead is an answer to all your four-year old dreams and wishes. Let’s celebrate this day to the fullest. And once today is done, we will find new adventures, chase new dreams, and I’ll keep watching you do amazing things!
All my love,
Mama
PS: Can we slow down and not keep growing up so soon… please!!
Oh oh oh and can you please start looking a little like me? 🤷🏻♀️ Please?
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