Disclaimer: This blog is different. It’s not about me or my son, or my life. It’s about the life of another mom and her son. I do not know them. But I support the cause.
This is a real story, the struggle is real, and it’s harsh reality.
Who is this mum?
Her name is Siminder Kaur. She is an Indian girl who has her family back in India, and was living with her husband and son in the United States until recently.
What is her story?
(In her own words..)
My son was with me and my husband till 15 months of age, and I cared & provided for him, just like any other parent. He was the center of my world and I couldn’t have possibly imagined a world without him, however my worst nightmare has turned into a reality.
Things started to spiral due to some marital issues that got aggravated last year and we decided to leave my son with my husbands’ parents in India in Nov 2015. Due to the pressure and manipulation by my husband and in-laws, I went back to US with my husband to work on our marriage; we mutually agreed that we will bring our son back to his home after 3-4 months while we work on resolving our issues. However things took a turn for the worse when I kept telling my husband to bring our son back and he kept on making excuses and buying time, and in the end, he blatantly refused. We couldn’t resolve our differences. That’s when I realized that he never had the intention of resolving any issues or bringing back our son; it had been a ploy all along. On Apr 21, 2016, I was homeward bound in a desperate attempt to get my son back; with only one week vacation in hand and a return ticket for me and my son. It’s been more than 2 months now and I still haven’t seen my son.
How do I know her?
I must be clear and so I repeat, I do not know this mom personally. I met her on an online group where she shared her story one post at a time. And then she was asked to create her own FB support page and she did, and thats where I read more about her.
I have had few chats with her (via FB messenger) for answers I was seeking and to clarify details that were puzzling to me. She seemed straightforward and innocent. Again, I did not dig too deep or cross lines with my questions to her, because I am not her family or close friend.
Nonetheless, being a mother, I support the cause: Reuniting a mother and child.
And that’s solely why I am on it and trying to spread the word. Doing my small part to ensure justice is served.
Why I care?
Mostly because I have a son almost Anhad’s (her son) age. And I cannot for the life of me imagine my son being away from me even for a day. Whenever I read her posts or think of her, I feel how lucky I am to have my son so close to me. All day long– to see, to hug, to hold, whenever he needs it and whenever I want.
I have had heartaches and tears too just imagining this helpless betrayed mom just fighting all day long to have access to someone who is rightfully hers.
Secondly, what justice is this? The birth mother is alive and the paternal grandmother claims rights of the child?? To which sane mind is this acceptable? Since when does grandmother come over own mother to a little baby?
Many people comment on her page asking, “why she left her child and went?“.
Yes, it may be a question in many minds. Probably was one for me as well, before I knew her story.
She has acknowledged that it was the BIGGEST mistake she ever made. But can anyone blame her? Who ever thinks that trusting their own people will lead to betrayal?
The answer to why she left her child: Their marriage was failing on all fronts, and there was mental, emotional and verbal abuse. And when things became it’s worst ever, she decided to keep her child out of the mess, by leaving him with in-laws (as suggested by them) and solve marital issues before bringing her son back to the United States. And when she agreed to that (to the extent of leaving her son back as well), instead of being true to her, her husband and in-laws start scheming against her and play games to trap her.
Many parents send their kids to grandparents because they simply can’t manage them due to busy schedules, because they can’t afford to bring up kids in other countries, because they feel education is better back at home, or simply because they want to take a break. It’s not uncommon in the Indian tradition, and so I do not see a reason for hue and cry over that. More than all the reasons I quoted above, I feel her reason stands out as most valid. It’s what parents would choose to do, to protect their children.
However, that one mistake is what she is paying the price for. So heavily!
How cruel is this world?
Thirdly, I have no idea who ‘the husband’ in her life is, since she has never once mentioned his name or details. And neither has he come on the page to say anything.
Normal people who have HUGE issues with their spouses get a divorce and let the courts decide on custody. They fight fair and share child custody if they want to be in their kids life. Unlike her husband, who plans an international kidnap by playing tricks and cheap games to win FAKE custody.
Fourthly, the thing that baffles me about the whole finger-pointing and blame game– Why does his family not have any issues with the father of the child leaving his son behind? Why is his family only blaming her for leaving her child behind? What did their son do any differently that he can still be in the life of his child?
This poor mum is still in India fighting her battle to get access to her child, while the father of the child is back in the US living his life. And child is taken care of by grandparents. How does this make any sense?
Why is her husband doing this? He cannot seem to take care of the child and hence left Anhad with grandparents. Besides that, he thinks its ok to steals the child away from the mother (who is begging to be back in her sons life), and he leaves the child with grandparents. Far away from his sons birth parents. *God please knock some sense into this guys head*
Cos in all his revenge, he fails to see that the victim in all this is HIS OWN son! Yes, he is getting back at his wife in the hardest way possible BUT the child is affected a lot too. Because he is deprived of his birth parents. In this case, the mother is forcibly thrown out of the equation, and the father is miles away. The father clearly does not love his child, because real love would never deprive a child of his basic right, his mother. And a real dad would be there for his son, and not sit miles away, leaving his son to be cared for by grandparents.
Lastly, to deprive a child his own mother, when she is alive, is a sin. A big sin. In my opinion, it should be considered a crime. Enough said!
How you can help?
Probably in no way. Because like me, you don’t know her. And there’s nothing we can do to speed the case, or change the law, or take matters in our own hands. But if you support the cause: Mother uniting with son, then like her FB page, and spread the word. It’s free.
I know many people like to know both sides of the story before they support a side. And I respect that. No compulsion.
What I think she needs?
Prayers. And more prayers!
Pray this mum is served justice. Pray Anhad experiences his mothers love. Pray Siminder can share her son’s life. Pray the offenders are punished by the Almighty.
Note: Pics in this post are taken from Siminder’s page and Google.com. Also, the lines in this blog (minus her story that I copy-pasted) are entirely my opinion.
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